The first step that I had to take on my journey to get past the dark forest of the "M WORD" (menopause) was to schedule my blood test and fill out a questionnaire. "Questionnaire" does not properly describe what I had to fill out; it was more like a BOOK! Quite frankly, I don't believe ANY doctor has EVER asked me that many questions before. I absolutely HATE doing "paper work", therefore, even the THOUGHT of filling that thing out was daunting for me. As I thumbed through the pages, I realized that I had two choices: I could either just rank each question (I also hate the "ranking" system...) randomly or I could really look at what was being asked and answer honestly. The latter would be more brutal for me, but also more beneficial. I set the questions aside and took up my "Scarlett Strategy"..."I'll just think about that tomorrow..."
Apparently, Robby was not going to allow me to "think" about the questions for too long. As we were driving out of town, he presented them to me again, along with a pen and instructed me to begin working on it; he planned to fax it back that very day. WHAT THE HECK?! It sounded as though he had some stake in this ...SURELY I had not been acting "hormonal"! Well, I complied and began the monotonous task of filling that questionnaire out. As I did so, I also noted that Robby was attempting to glance over at the papers; I moved them to where he could NOT see my answers. HEY! It was difficult enough admitting these things to myself...I did NOT want him seeing my answers too! FINALLY making it to the end of that stack of papers, I laid them on the floor. At about that time, we stopped for gas (later I wondered if this was a mere coincidence...). I exited the car for my usual bathroom break and upon returning, found "Mr. Nosey" SNOOPING THROUGH MY PAPERS! (ugh!!!). I snatched them out of his hands, admonishing him for committing a "HIPPA Violation" as he calmly stated that he just wanted to see if I had answered the questions "honestly"! OH MY GOSH! Seriously...What was he going to do?! Go in and CHANGE my answers?! Hmph...
Well, "Step 1" was complete; the questionnaire was faxed and I was on to "Step 2": The Comprehensive Metabolic Blood Test. Now, I must tell you that I am that person who can make myself physically ill by just thinking about something and anticipating it; that includes having my blood drawn. I realize that I have given birth to 4 children and I'm not sure how I even got through all of that...Oh yea; it was called an epidural. Any way, I set up my blood test at the lab in Metairie for the weekend that I would be visiting Ryan for his White Coat Ceremony. My test was set for Saturday morning and each day I dreaded it more and more. Unfortunately, I have always had a "needle phobia" and steer away from them whenever possible...this would not be one of those times.
After surviving having my blood drawn, I only had one more step to complete before I could visit my new "Hormone Specialist". I went down to my OB/GYN's office and signed for copies of the reports of my most recent Pap Smear and Mammogram. I faxed both of these to the specialist and then began to WAIT for 3 days for the results of my tests to come back.
Waiting is always the hardest part for me. While I wait, my imagination begins to work on me. I think of all the "bad things" that could be found to be wrong with me. I don't understand WHY I do this...I just do. So, although, I was excited about the prospect of "curing" this curse called, "THE M WORD", I was also really afraid of what they would find. FEAR is something that keeps us from moving forward when we know that we MUST. I had come this far...I was NOT turning back now. While I waited, I decided to pick up ANOTHER book by Suzanne Somers, "Ageless", which confirmed for me that I was doing the BEST thing for ME. This book goes into further detail about a woman's body and how hormonal balance is vital to its proper function. It also discusses "biodentical hormones" in deeper detail and how effective they are. Bolstered by this information, I once again found myself encouraged to continue with my quest for optimum health. This is the only body I will ever have...I'm going to do it right! "Embrace the Inevitable"?! I think NOT...I'm "Curing this Curse"!
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