I'm NOT Going To Be Doing That "M Word" Thing...

Contrary to popular belief, I DO still have my egg carton. OK...I guess I should explain that statement. When the kids were young, we spent most spring and summer evenings at the ball park. On one particular evening, Caitlin made an announcement to everyone at this game that quite frankly shocked me and I'm sure EVERYONE else who heard it. As we were sitting there enjoying the game, casual conversation and ballgame food, Caitlin loudly announced, "My mama can't have babies any more; she had her egg carton removed." Suddenly, one could have heard a pin drop...and every head and eye turned in my direction. Absolutely flabbergasted, I quickly felt the need to emphatically deny that the information just given to them (by a pre-schooler) was true. I realized how she might have possibly misunderstood and come to that conclusion. When asking me for a baby brother or sister, I simply explained that we couldn't have any more babies. I suppose she must have discussed this with her peers (or perhaps her brothers) and come up with this "no egg carton" theory. Needless to say, NO ONE in our family (and I'm sure the people at the ball park that night) has ever forgotten those words. That is why, I suppose it should not have surprised me the other day when Robby laughingly inquired if my egg carton had been removed.

I will admit that it is in my personality to at times...let's say be a little "snippy". However, when family members (namely the MEN) insinuate that the cause could be the "M Word" (you know...menopause) that make me even snippier! So, I made a public declaration stating that I would NOT be doing that "M Word" thing. I went as far as even discussing this with my doctor. I told him that I had decided that I just would NOT be doing menopause because I didn't want to go through all of that physical and emotional upheaval that many of my friends had and were currently experiencing (quite frankly I wasn't sure my family could withstand a hormonal hurricane named Barbara). He chuckled under his breath as he told me, "Good, Hun...I hope that works for you." Hmph! Yet ANOTHER MAN trying to tell me what I was going to do! Well, I felt the need to explain my theory about "skipping menopause". I feel that if you eat right, drink green tea and regularly exercise (including plenty of yoga), you are BOUND to decrease your chances of going through...you know; the "M Word".

So, several years ago, I hired a trainer (it was time to quit messing around and get SERIOUS), took up yoga and REALLY altered my diet. I know that you are probably wondering what "really altering my diet" consists of. As per my trainer's instructions, I gave up all cold drinks; I only partake of water, coffee, tea...and of course, wine (hey, everybody's gotta have one vice). I eat whole grains, fruits, vegetables and fish. Yep! No meat. This, of course, is a personal choice, because my family DOES continue to eat whatever they choose. My new diet probably bothers my mother the most. She keeps trying to convince me that I couldn't resist her fried chicken were she to make some. Robby and the kids refer to me as a vegan (which I am NOT) and I call them carnivores (which they ARE). Oh, don't worry...these things are all said in good humor. After all, if the nutrition theory doesn't do the trick to prevent the "M Word"...the laughter might (laughter IS the best medicine, isn't it?)

Yoga is one of my favorite physical activities to participate in. I became a "yogi" back when Caitlin was in high school. I felt I NEEDED yoga not only to help me become more fit, but because life with a teenage daughter (after raising 3 boys) was OVER THE TOP! It worked too...after doing yoga, I feel much more relaxed and centered (that's a work we yogis use). That IS until I re-enter the "real world" (the one outside of that cold, dark room with soft music playing) and LOSE ALL OF MY ENDORPHINS AGAIN! OK...so it "temporarily" takes the stress away. However, it does teach me some great relaxation techniques. These techniques should definitely be beneficial in assisting me to not go through the "M Word".

With all of this effort put into the "No "M Word" Project", you are most likely wondering how it's going for me. Truthfully? I have now developed TMJ! No...,seriously; I have never had this condition before and I believe that it is in part due to the fact that in my quest to eliminate the symptoms associated with the "M Word", I have begun clenching my teeth! So, basically, PERHAPS I MIGHT be suffering from a FEW (Robby says I can run through the entire realm of emotions in 30 seconds flat) symptoms...I now have ANOTHER problem (ugh!)

Well, I'm not sure if everything I'm doing is working, but at least it gives me goals to shoot for. Every theory must be tried and tested; and I am willing to continue the experiment. Now, if I could just find out who keeps messing with my thermostat...it's burning up in here!

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