Mam-Maw, The Witch and Harry Potter

My mother turned 82 years old this July. Although she has lived here for many years, she originally hails from a VERY rural community. Remember the movie "Deliverance"? OK... maybe it's not THAT bad, but close! Let me just give you this little example and you can decide for yourself. When Robby and I were newly married with only Justin and David being born, we headed over there for the annual Easter egg hunt. We left the main road for a gravel one and started to head deep into the woods. The first little house we came to had something hanging from the front porch, and startled Robby looked at me and asked, "Was that a bobcat I saw hanging off of those people's front porch?" I'm NOT kidding you! Back to my mother, now. She grew up during The Great Depression, therefore, her view on many things is quite unique. She is the eldest of 4 children; 2 sisters and a brother. All of the siblings, at one point in time also left "Deliverance" to seek work and start their families. All, except my mother have slowly over the years also migrated back to their home town. My mother is the matriarch of this bunch ( even if it is a self-appointed position). She has no problem letting everyone know that she is in charge. None of the siblings even call her by her given name, but instead refer to her as, "Sister". And it is not just the siblings who call her this, but also the other residents of "Deliverance" as well.

As I said, Mam-Maw considers herself the martiarch of the family and most people do not argue with her about anything...because she is right and you are wrong and there is just no reason to do so. Case in point is, Harry Potter. When the Harry Potter series came out several years ago, my mother announced to us that Harry Potter was evil. OK...I thought; now where is this going? She went on to say that Harry Potter was a real boy, who did witchcraft and Hogwarts was a real place. Hmmm...what do you say to that? YOU DON"T. You just listen and let her talk and DO NOT argue. So, when my cousin announced that she was a "witch", my mother's response to this was somewhat of a surprise to all of us.

Let me first explain a couple of things to you. Between my mother and her siblings, there are 9 of us first cousins; only 3 of us (my sister, another female cousin and me) are close with each other. The others, let's just say don't have a lot in common with us (The Witch!). Now, I don't doubt the claim by this particular cousin that she is indeed a "witch"...and here is the reason why. She is a hippie throw-back from the 60's, who looks a lot like your local present day coffee house employee. You know the one I'm talking about...she has unnaturally dark black hair, multiple face piercings, her entire body is covered in tattoos...AND she has a voice that sounds strangely like Darth Vader's (mostly likely due to a lifelong habit of smoking). All of this, along with the fact that she OPENLY professes to being a witch, has led all of us to believe it...all EXCEPT for my mother. Apparently, she has listened to all of the witch banter and observed for herself the oddities surrounding this girl and proclaimed (as any sitting matriarch would do) that she is NOT a witch. Hmmm...OK, so let me get this straight...Harry Potter, who is a book/movie character is a "real" witch and "hippie throw-back", who clearly admits to being a witch is not one. Makes sense to me...NOT!

Although we usually try to avoid discussing the witch issue with "the witch", my mother decided one day to do just that...AND that it was time to make her public declaration on the issue. So, she called her over to where she was sitting and said to her, "Sit here on my lap" (YIKES! This is NOT a "touchy feely" person...we didn't know what she was about to do!) Mam-Maw then took her face between her hands and looked sternly into her eyes and said, "Now, you stop all of this nonsense! You KNOW you are NOT a witch!" Trying to act as though we were not paying attention, around the room, eyes were beginning to bulge, mouths were hanging open and some (Caitlin) were even hiding for fear that a spell might be cast their way. And do you know what the witch had to say about this proclamation? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Yep! She may be a witch, but she too knows the rules...NEVER argue with Mam-Maw; why? Because she is right and you are wrong and there is no sense in doing so! Even IF Harry Potter is not a "real" boy and you "really" ARE a witch!

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