As I crawled across the floor on my hands and knees last night, I wondered..."WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING?!" When I had complained so loudly after losing 14 pounds that I felt like I still "needed" to get rid of 8 more. When my husband's (aka: Conan the Barbarian) ears perked up and an "idea" was born. WHY, OH WHY had I agreed to do this thing to my very own body?!
After pondering these questions I posed to myself, I remembered the answer: Wedding pictures (blame it on the wedding again...); they live on FOREVER and well,,,nobody wants to look at those pictures over the years and think, "Look how big my hips look" or "Is that flab hanging under my arms?" And then there was the fact that my annual beach trip to Miami was coming up in March and, although I have never gotten up the courage to either take my top off or wear a thong on South Beach, I had NO intentions of giving up my bikini yet. And so I made a deal with my hubby...one that I am now wondering if I will truly even SURVIVE to put that bikini on...
As I was napping on Sunday afternoon, Robby was researching. We had made a trip to the bookstore on Saturday and he had returned with a couple of books...and a fitness magazine. When I was taking our purchases out of the bag, I held that magazine up and said, "Is this yours?" He nodded with this little smirk on his face. Hmmm...Little did I know that, that magazine would inspire him to create a "fitness plan" for me. So, when I woke up from my nap and Parker Ann went home, I noticed that he was still furiously scribbling on paper, while moving from page to page on the Internet. When I asked what he was doing, he informed me that the new Apple computer he had given me for my birthday had a whole fitness workout program on it...and he had just put our information in to create personalized work-out plans for us that we would officially begin Monday. WHAT?!..."Our?" Did this mean that BOTH of us would begin weight training in 24 hours?
Several months ago, Robby enlisted the help of a neighbor to turn part of our outside storage building into a home gym. It is complete with cardio equipment, free weights, a weight machine, abdominal machines, television, CD system and a mirror that covers one entire wall. Up until now, I have been the only occasional user of this gym. Of course, I only like to hop on the elliptical machine or work on my abs, while watching taped episodes of all the "Housewives" shows. It has been a while since I did any type of weight training at all and well...I really wasn't that interested in doing it again. However, when Robby called a nutritionist that we have access to, he suggested that I start eating a very high protein diet...and begin weight training (Ugh...to both to those things) to lose that extra fat.
When Monday came around, Robby bounded into the house after work carrying a bag from GNC, full of things I had not only never seen, I certainly had never put those things in my body before! But, HEY! I guess I would be willing to try this. Little did I know what all it would entail. Robby told me to go get into some work-out clothes, while he mixed one of those concoctions up. As we headed out to the gym, he said, "Drink this while you work out." It looked like water, but tasted tart. "What is this?", I asked. He explained that it was Amino Acid (whatever that is...). After tasting it, I wrinkled up my nose, sure that I would not be able to finish it off. However, once Conan got started barking orders and I began sweating, I found myself running over to grab that bottle just to quench my thirst!
If you are anything like me, I have this little problem with Day 1 of any exercise program I start. I jump in and really bust it, in my over zealous state; ready to prove to myself that I am capable of "getting the job done". Well, what I ALWAYS forget, is the way I will feel the next day. When I awoke the next morning, I was sore. And as the day continued, I became even more sore. And by the time Robby came into the house to start on Day 2 of our work-out regimen, I was shuffling my feet across the floor. He once again instructed me to change and get ready for our work-out, while he prepared that tasty, acid drink that I would be belching until I retired for the evening (sigh...).
As we headed outside, Robby glanced over and snickering asked, "Why are you walking that way?" HMPH! "Ummm...Let's see; because I can BARELY MOVE MY LEGS!?" I think he called me a "sissy" or something and I said, "Call me names...I AM one; you can't hurt my feelings." He told me to get down on the floor so he could stretch me out before we began and I looked at the floor, thinking, "Now, how am I going to get down there...and more importantly, up again?" I eased down on my knees and rolled around until I got situated. When he began to stretch my legs, I thought about screaming (OK...well, I DID moan quite loudly). From there, I just basically attempted to get through each phase of "the plan". Once we finished and I was once again stretched out, we headed back inside to eat dinner. The only problem was...I wasn't' sure how I was going to eat a lot of protein or even food for that matter. I jumped in the shower and when I entered the kitchen, Robby handed me a chocolate protein drink. I looked at it and said, "I'm supposed to drink this AND eat dinner?!"(sigh...). I was a child sitting at the table drinking my milk once again. Yep! I was the one who drug out drinking one glass of milk for about 30 minutes (or until the adults just gave up...). And, by the way, whoever told you that "chocolate" was good in any form was lying! Obviously they never drank one of those protein shakes before...
Robby and I sat there watching television before retiring to bed for the evening (because basically it required no movement...). He got up and walked into the kitchen for something (ice cream, I think...) and that's when I noticed it; that grimace on his face and slight moan. I finally smiled as I asked, "Sore?" He nodded in the affirmative as I said, "Good!...Because if there was one place that wasn't sore on ME before tonight's work-out, it is now; it even hurts to breathe." We both eventually shuffled off to bed and just before my eyes closed, I murmured, "I hope you hurt as much as I do when you wake up in the morning..." Again, I wondered, "WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING?!" Oh yea...BIKINI, WEDDING, BIKINI! (sigh...)