REALLY...I Just Wanted My Bread!!!

You decide...SOME think that perhaps I had a "hormonal moment", but I say, "No!  I merely wanted my BREAD."  Some of you know me personally and other do not, so please read this objectively and decide for yourselves.  Oh...and IF you do know me, also keep in mind that Christmas is VERY near when you make your decision; you wouldn't want to forfeit good Christmas gifts by not seeing things clearly (my way...).

Here's how it all happened.  I awoke early that morning to head to the gym.  It would be my LONG day...30 minutes on the elliptical machine, followed by an hour of yoga and then another hour of Pilate's ( I TOLD you it was long...).  Upon finishing up there, I was meeting Caitlin in town for lunch and then some Christmas shopping.  Trying to get there was exhausting in and of itself.  One could tell the holiday season was upon us.  Not only had the traffic become more congested, but people were blowing their horns for no good reason.  Making it to the restaurant, I was happy to have the opportunity to sit down, visit with Caitlin and eat before my day became hectic fighting those holiday crowds.  So...I chose one of our favorite restaurants; one that begins the dining experience with bread.

Well, it all started out OK.  We got waited on fairly quickly, our waiter brought our drinks and we ordered our "usual".  Sitting chatting, we knew the bread would be coming out next...and let's face it, everybody knows that a good loaf of hot bread just makes everything better.  THAT'S when it happened.  Our waiter reappeared with our entrees and set them down in front of us.  Caitlin and I looked at our dishes and then at each other.  Wait a minute...the entree' NEVER comes out before the bread!  So, as our waiter prepared to walk away from the table, I said, "Are you going to bring us some bread?"  He replied, "Oh, it's still in the oven; I will bring it when it gets done."  WHAT?!  As he walked away, I looked at Caitlin again and said, "Then WHY would he even bring us our entrees if the bread isn't even out of the oven yet?"  Ugh!!!  Caitlin could tell where this situation was going and said, "Mom, just go ahead and start eating; it's not really his fault...he only serves the bread, he doesn't make it."  "Well, he should know better than to serve the meal without the bread..."  I went ahead and took a bite of my meal...it wasn't hot either.  OK, I REALLY could have overlooked the lukewarm food sitting in front of me IF I had some bread in my system ( I told you bread makes everything better), however, that was NOT the case.  Getting more agitated by the minute, I decided to go on a search and rescue mission for my missing bread.  I got up from the table and Caitlin's eyes became large and she was clearly worried when she inquired as to where I was going. "I'm going to find out where my bread is", I replied.  She asked me not to, but I was having none of it...I NEEDED THAT BREAD!  I got up from the table and was slowly walking around toward the kitchen (I know only the employees are supposed to be there, but hey...it was all about the bread) when I ran right into my waiter.  Surprised to see me there, he asked if I needed something...ummm...yea!  MY BREAD...is it ready yet?  He told me he would go check.  Sitting back down, I waited.  I was getting really hungry (that long work-out and all), but I didn't want to eat up all of my food without the bread.  Suddenly I saw this look on Caitlin's face.  And just as suddenly as it appeared, she quickly averted her eyes.  Glancing over my shoulder, I saw MY waiter, putting BREAD on the table of someone else...who did NOT have their food yet.  OK...THAT WAS IT!  I was done dealing with this guy about my bread; I headed to the hostess stand.  There I found the manager and began to explain my dilemma.  He assured me he would find out where my missing bread was and take care of the matter.  By the time I returned to the table, Caitlin was halfway finished with her lunch and informed me that I was the reason she could never work in the food service business; hmph...whatever!

The manager DID take care of my little bread issue ( and by the way...he said the bread should ALWAYS come out FIRST) and I FINALLY got it.  After a full day of Christmas shopping and returning home, I retired to my bathroom to take a long, hot bath.  As I was soaking away the day's tiredness, Robby came in.  He pulled the chair out from my changing table and said, "Tell me about your day...Caitlin said, you know Mama is in denial."  Tilting my head a bit with a questioning look, I waited for him to explain.  "She said, you really are starting to go through "M Word'...there was an issue concerning bread today?"  Well, GREAT!  I said, "Let me explain..."