A Case of Mistaken Identity at Office Depot

I used to teach school. Frist, I taught English at the junior high level and then I moved to teaching second grade. I love teaching school, but my "problem with authority" (as Robby would say) caused me to quit teaching much earlier than I thought I would have. The first year after quitting my teaching job, I home schooled Caitlin. She was in the 6th grade and this was a great experience for both of us. I thought about how nice and relaxing the next year would be with not having to have an agenda everyday, since I would not have an every day job. Well, as fate would have it, Robby's secretary had to quit and Robby told me that the job would now be mine. OK...so, why would you want me doing your books? I'm the girl who never reconciles her personal checking account (not because I can't, but I just don't want to). "You will learn to use Quick Books and I will show you how to do everything", he stated. GREAT! I guess that meant that I had to learn to use a computer too. Well, go to work for Robby, I did. And I also quit at least once a month! I would take out a piece of paper and write the following note and then lay it on his desk: Dear Boss, I Quit! Sincerely, Barbara. Robby would read this note, crumple it up and say, "You can't quit." OH MY GOSH!!! What kind of job do I have that I can't even quit?!? You see, Robby's mind runs at 5 millions miles a minute and he very intense; classic Type A Personality. His desk always looks like a bomb went off on it...BUT oh, don't ever try to straighten it because then he will never be able to find anything (go figure!). I, on the other hand, have a neat, organized desk and there must be a rhyme and reason for everything I do. I cannot get in a hurry because if I do, I might forget a step in my routine and something won't get done correctly. You get it now, don't you...Felix Unger and Oscar Madison; that's us! In my organization, I like to use all kinds of folders, labels, sticky pads, highlighters, etc. On one particular morning, Robby asked me if I would be stopping by Office Depot on the way to work. "No, am definitely not going by there, so if you need something, you should just go by yourself." With that issue settle, I went about my business and continued to prepare for the day. Unbeknownst to me, my husband was wreaking havic across town. He did indeed head down to Office Depot to get his supplies. However, while there, he saw me...or should I say "someone" who "appeared" to be me. I must interject here, that Robby is "famous" for thinking he sees someone he knows; I'm just usually there to save him from himself before he frightens some poor, unsuspecting soul. On this particular morning, he was not that fortunate. As he wandered into the store, he headed toward the aisle where the copy paper could be found. And low and behold, who should he see standing there (with her back to him, of course), but his lovely wife. "So...she decided to come by here after all", he thought. And then, he proceeded to "surprise" me (her). I can still imagine this (since I was not actually there in person). He squatted down and snuck for aisle to aisle and endcap to endcap until finally he was right behind her. And then...BAM! He popped her right on her butt! And yes, it can get a little better...after the POP, he gives her butt a hard squeeze and shakes it! The lady (who is NOT me), turns around and as they come within inches of each other's faces, they both JUMP back and SCREAM...AHHH!!! "You're NOT my wife!" Well, lucky for him, this woman had a very good sense of humor. He called me right away to tell me about this woman who looked EXACTLY like me...from behind!

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