Yogamaniac!!!

When I decided to return to South Beach this spring, I decided that I would like to attend one of the hotel's yoga classes.  I knew that it would most likely be different from the ones I attended at home, but felt sure that I could keep up with all of the moves (maybe wouldn't be able to walk the next day, but...)  What I was NOT prepared for was the, shall we say, "odd" instructor and some of his practices.

My friend who traveled to Miami with me brought her work-out clothes with her too.  However, on the morning of the yoga class, she said, "I don't think I'll go with you, but I WILL put my work-out shirt on in support of you."  Hmmm...OK; no big deal.  She isn't that "into" working out as I am.  Beside, I was curious to see what other yoga classes were like.  So, off I went.  They told me that there was usually 2-4 people there for a yoga class so that wouldn't be too bad.  The one other lady and I signed in at the same time and set out for the group fitness room.  We each took a mat and sat down, waiting for our instructor.  And in he popped!  The first thing that I noticed was that he was WAY too cheery and energetic for 8:30 in the morning.  And THAT was only the beginning of what was to be one of the "oddest" yoga sessions that I have ever been a part of.

I should have known how this was going to go from the onset because he (1st time I've ever had a male yoga instructor, also...) started the day off talking about how tree doctors, people doctors and animal doctors were just bad because we could all just heal ourselves from the inside out.  OK...WHATEVER.  I just came to get a little exercise, stretch and basically relax and clear my mind.  I was already in the room and I wasn't leaving...no matter how weird this might be in the end.  The music began and we started breathing.  Maybe this would be alright after all.  We went into some poses and they weren't too difficult...OK, the one where you were supposed to balance your legs in the air on your arms,with your head not touching the mat was NOT happening for me.  I told him that and he said, " Just try it; trust your body."  Ummm...NO WAY!  I cannot afford to fracture both of my wrists.  We continued on with the work-out and everything was going pretty well UNTIL...we were laying on our stomach with our hands grasping our ankles.  He said, "Raise up!  Open up your heart."  I had done this pose before and pulled myself up as far as I could.  I noticed that he was moving around the room, however, I was NOT prepared for what happened next.  Holding my ankles, he came up behind me and JERKED me up into the form of a letter "C"!!!  AND both of my ankles popped!  GREAT!  I had now most likely been hobbled.  How would I ever get out to the beach now?  I suppose the concierge could possibly get me a wheelchair...Luckily, I found that I was still able to stand (Whew!...).  Now, on to the cool down and relaxation part of the work-out.

As we sat cross-legged on our mats and began stretching and twisting, he kept referring the the "3rd Eye"; hmmm...I knew all about this "3rd Eye" but we just never talked about it that much in my classes and quite frankly, I didn't really care that much about that old 3rd Eye.  THEN, we came to a part where he said we were going to "Laugh like Santa Claus"...and HE proceeded to do just that!  I suppose I had a strange look on my face as he was doing this so dramatically and "over the top" and he said, "Just go with it."  After he finished laughing like Santa Claus, he shook his head like a dog and made blubbering noises with his mouth, looked up, swung his arms wide and began clapping his hands wildly!  Now, THIS was the WEIRDEST thing that I had ever experienced...UNTIL he wanted us to do it AGAIN doing the "wicked witch cackle"!

As we got ready to leave, he thanked us for being "Brave Warriors".  Brave?...Or just plain CRAZY?!?  I returned to find my friend and after regaling her with the story of my yoga class, she stated how glad she was that she had decided not to go with me.  Later that evening, as we were going out to eat dinner, I mentioned that I had leg cramps.  I couldn't imagine WHY.  I knew that I had drank plenty of water on the beach that day.  And THAT is when it dawned on me...the yoga class had me hurting and as the night wore on, I began to feel MORE sore muscles creep upon my body.  Well, I thought, you've heard about that old saying, "Curiosity killed the Cat"...I suppose MY curiosity almost killed THIS cat!