Ya Ya's (grand mums...) tend to reflect. I KNOW...you're thinking THAT'S because we are getting older. Well, I am NOT going to admit THAT (are you surprised?)! I AM going to say that we reflect because we have "more life experiences" under our belt (OK...sorta like getting older, but sounds better to me).
When I was in my 20's and 30's, raising all of my kids, I didn't really worry that much. I suppose that was because I didn't have the TIME to do so. I was so caught up in the actual process of daily living that I just fielded problems as they came along; I did not have time to ponder all of the "what ifs" and then consult "child rearing books". And that is most likely the difference now, as I no longer have all of that busyness in my life...there is "time"...and "time" allows the mind to ponder all sorts of things.
Robby and I know quite a lot of young couples who are just beginning their lives as parents (as well as our own son...). We are constantly amazed at all of the information available to them. However, along with that information also comes more anxiety and worries; I, myself, am not even exempt from it.
As I was keeping Parker Ann overnight this week, Robby make the comment (to HER...but intended for ME), "Yea, I remember the day when Ya Ya could fix a meal with one baby on her hip while fielding three others running around her feet." I thought about that for a minute and he was right! WHAT had happened to me over the years? I had this motto when the children were young that "If they got hurt, well...wasnt' that what emergency rooms were for?" I believe I may have even made that comment to an older woman (perhaps a Ya Ya herself??) in the grocery store once. This was the scenario when she politely (I thought nosily...) tapped me on the shoulder to warn me of the dangers I was tempting: I had one baby strapped to my chest in a pouch, one in the front seat of the buggy, one hanging onto the side and, of course, David laying underneath on his belly. I saw no problem with this; it was the way I "controlled" my kids while grocery shopping. "HEY! You can't have it both ways" I thought. This woman saw the "danger" in this situation", while I only saw the present goal at hand...getting the groceries bought AND keeping up with 4 kids. It worked for me! Let me state for the record that first, as a Ya Ya, I would NEVER go to the grocery store alone with that many small kids and second, I would NOT let Parker Ann ride on the undercarriage of the grocery buggy (OK...maybe if she was older and promised not to put her fingers under the wheels...). My perspective has changed a bit with "life experiences"...and some of that "worry" that can be found so readily in today's society.
As a young mother, my motto WAS "Don't Worry...Be Happy"! and I truly lived by that. My children and I "seized the day" each and EVERY day. Young mothers these days?...not so much. They read books and studies and watch televisions reports and, of course, the Internet is absolutely LOADED with information regarding child rearing. I get stressed FOR them, even considering the possibilities of things that could happen to a child...including making a mistake and being a labeled a "bad parent" by the child at some point in his or her life...when they end up in a therapist's chair: "Yes, I remember my mother giving me juice before I was ready for it; I feel quite certain it is to blame for my habit of over eating sweets, which has lead to my weight problem..." OK...I will admit THAT is a bit extreme, but I HAVE heard crazier things these days!
My point is...LIVE LIFE and ENJOY LIFE with your kids! Sometimes mothers just have to throw down the books and go with their instincts. Kids don't always want the "latest and greatest"(WE want that for them...); THEY WANT YOU! They want TIME with YOU. They want to PLAY with YOU (unorganized play time...). They want to get DIRTY (FYI: It is OK to get dirty; that's why they make soap). They don't always have to take a nap or eat on schedule (they will eat when hungry and sleep when tired...). Take a chance...Live a little...Love a LOT... Life IS what you make it..."DON'T WORRY...BE HAPPY!" (It's do-able)
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Excellent reminder! Great post! I always took the stand that it's ok to get dirty, it all comes out in the wash anyway! Loved this post!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Mumsy! We sound like we might be a good bit alike.
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